Locked'pal - Corrupt or Not, You're in it.

There is immense pleasure to be obtained while writing about a topic or event which has remained in the news for so long that

even the news channel reporters don’t need a briefing before going live. They have to say the same words, in the same manner with the same expressions every fu*king time. The Lokpal issue (or I should say locked-pal citing the freezing point it has reached), is starting to irritate and piss off people like me who feel there are other important events going on in the country which deserve more attention.

“The motive is what matters” –that’s what they say. In the deification of Anna Hazare, a certain ‘jobless’ or ‘fun-seeking’ part of our 1.21 billion population has decided to jam roads, buy ‘Anna topis’ and scream every time the camera turns towards them. They think this signifies their stand against corruption. They feel this is a way to be patriotic. They justify their behavior by citing examples of Bhagat Singh, Gandhi, Bose and others, and proclaim that they are the defenders of the India these leaders dreamed of. Wow! Ain’t that something? And yes, they also feel that God is watching, and some even believe that heaven is not too far if you are seen with team Anna or any other of the ‘condensed’ parade members.

Before you pick up a flag and cover your head with the most ‘in’ topi of the season, give a thought to the concept of corruption and its position in this country and especially inside you. Fighting corruption for us i.e. the present generation is like ripping one’s self into two and then making them fight. No matter who wins, you still lose. And who wants to lose? See, being good at heart and being big in thoughts is very essential in a society. You must talk good, pretend to think good and even urge others to do the same and appreciate the ones who do so. But in real life, it’s just completely different.

You will be bullshitting me if you tell me that you prefer to pay a challan of 1000 instead of bribing the traffic policeman and saving both time and money. You will be bullshitting me if you tell me that even though you know someone influential in the passport office, you still line up in the queue and follow the normal procedure for a citizen to obtain a passport. Again, you will be bullshitting me if you tell me that you don’t enjoy it when you get your things done faster than others. You love that smile on your face and you simply feast upon the idea of being ‘the one who got away with it’ or ‘the one who gets things done easily’. Nobody likes a hard cookie.

Now if you say that most of the above mentioned examples of how we as humans savor the flavor of being ‘served first or served with the best’ are mere favors, then let me enlighten you by telling you that corruption breeds on such acts. This is the very breeding ground for corruption. Insecurity and disgust caused by it. Deep down, somewhere, a few thousand or million cells in our body are corrupt and the faster you accept it, the better. We think corrupt and we act corrupt. Your house or his? Such ideas exist in everyone’s mind. No matter how fine your act of concealment is, someday and somehow- it shows.

Now the political parties of our time have their own stands. The AICC or the Congress , the BJP, the Left and other regional parties all believe that Lokpal is necessary and have pledged their commitment towards bringing a strong Lokpal. But none of them wants to actually see this story through. Nearly all the politicians have at least millions stacked in their bottoms. The only reason these creeps entered politics was to make money. But as of now, they have actually found a way to combat this new ‘threat’ of Lokpal. Now with the threat gone, it was important to use this issue for their own political purposes. The BJP has clearly stated that the ‘Congress’ wants corruption to go on. The BJP leaders in their speeches across the nation have laid emphasis on their version of the story , and have continuously tried to brainwash the general public and create a strong vote bank.

Meanwhile, the Congress hit the right notes when they brought up the issue of Lokayuktas. According to the Congress, the Lokayukta is a better program and hence BJP should accept Lokayukta in states governed by their party. For example, Gujarat government, under the leadership of Narendra Modi, is believed to be one of the most corrupt state governments in the country. But the outside picture shows development and progress to a layman’s eye. What goes on inside is still unknown as transparency in government affairs is nearly zero in such states. So, the Congress corners the BJP in this manner and tries to create a vote bank for itself.

The regional parties normally remain neutral, but it has been observed that certain leaders like Lalu Prasad Yadav have rubbished the idea of bringing the Lokpal Bill in such haste. These leaders offer a safe passage and ask for the bill to be reconsidered by a special committee. But this is again a way to play out the issue and offer a neutral view which doesn’t appear to be neutral.

Thus we have the Lokpal issue hanging in mid-air except for a few pushes given by Anna anshans and public gatherings. The idea of Lokpal is very old. The concept, the mechanism …they all promise a lot. ‘Promises’- haven’t we heard the word before? Like a thousand times or more? India is not a land of opportunities as much as it is a land of promises. From time unmemorable, we have been feeding on promises made by rulers, colonial expansionists, national leaders, government and politicians. We need a bit of a fodder every now and then. But this does not speed up our process of transition. Time alone makes our country move. Only a few contribute towards grabbing this country by its neck and dragging it forward.

Corruption is such a vital part of our daily lives that letting it go is not something that can be achieved with anshans, topis and Annas. It depends more on self discipline rather than strict measures. We must remember that strict measures do not yield discipline always. At times they yield disgust, dissatisfaction and even a revolution. One cannot just walk in and order everyone to bring out their belongings because you feel it’s time we checked who carries how much. You can call it an effort if you want but blackmailing the government and threatening the democratic nature of a country is no means to try and fight corruption. I heard that about 1 lakh people signed up on the internet for a ’Jail’ thing. Let the time come, we’ll see how many actually turn up. And yes, 1 lakh out of 1.21 billion, wow…surely we all are ready to go to jail and bring change.

The ends are fine, but the means are just unacceptable. You cannot threaten to destabilize a nation. If we agree to Anna’s demands today, there are several other groups who have ridiculous demands. You have the Khalistan, Telangana, ULFA, naxalites and what not. Should we just agree to their demands in case any of them starts an ‘Anshan episode’? Should we divide the country? Give up democracy and move towards autocracy? Such Anna-rchy is simply unacceptable. We need to switch off our TVs, fold back our newspapers and open up our brains.

Team Anna talks of fighting corruption as though they are about to come out with an anti-corruption pill.

‘One pill a day, keeps corruption away’

I hope the pill comes in different flavors, seeing how diverse this country is and tastes and preferences vary from person to person and region to region. And besides that, I just love the idea of killing all the corruption inside me in one go, with absolutely no regrets or bad memories but just the taste of roasted hazelnut chocolate in my mouth. Mmmm!!...my appetite for corruption seems to be growing.

The Mandir Industry-Commercialization Of Religion

Religion in India works like magic. You cannot trace the start and you can, in no possible manner, speculate the end. The concepts of limits and boundaries do not apply. People here will believe almost anything in the name of God and will reject the most obvious of facts in His name. In this post of mine, I will try to restrict my essay to Hinduism. In no way do I intend to offend or mock the religious sentiments of any Hindu or any person of any other religion. It is just an observation. One which I must write on, or otherwise I’ll get that feeling in the stomach you know… J

I went to Ujjain recently. A religious city located in central India, Ujjain re-defines religion in today’s urbanized and ‘fast’ lifestyle where we have space for multi-plexes, apartments and shopping malls but we literally struggle when it comes to building a religious monument. My faith took me to the Mahakaal Mandir in the city , which is one of the twelve jyotir-lingas of Shiva. Im not an atheist. I went to Ujjain with the sole purpose of worshipping the great and almighty king of Ujjain – Mahakaal. And so I did and it felt simply awsome. You are a different man when you are surrounded by so many people who too feel different, when they are at a religious monument.

My observation during this tour was that an underground business has been evolving (not developing but evolving as evolution is uncontrolled) over the years. All the deposits in the form of cash and jewellery are said to be donated and distributed to and among the poor. These are also the guidelines of a temple with an honest administration. But similar collections at other temples are actually a healthy source of income for the so called ‘caretakers’ of the temple. I remember seeing a photo frame of Maa Durga at a Sai Baba temple placed specially during the days of Navratri. Things are bearable as long as they stay limited to keeping the photo frame there. But in addition to the frame, there is a separate donation box for Maa Durga. One gets an idea that Sai Baba and Maa Durga are having a conflict of interests and hence separate donations are needed for both. First, why put a photo frame of some other God or Goddess at a temple dedicated to one single God? Second, why should devotees be forced to donate separately? Isn’t God one? And does Maa Durga hold importance only during the nine days of Navratra? Is she in a sort of hibernation mode for the rest of the year?

I don’t mean to sound rude and ridiculous. I don’t want to offend anyone but I must appeal to all of you to understand the point. Don’t miss the logic. The concept of God is a mode of income for everyone today. Right from beggars to pundits to the ‘care-takers’ of a temple.

I also see people doing stupid things and feeling so good about themselves. Normally, an educated person would think twice before drinking water from a tap or pot at any public place. But when the same person enters a temple, he/she drinks from the tap saying – “Ah! This is water served inside God’s home. It can’t be impure.” One question, do harmful bacteria and viruses know that they are supposed to take a U-turn once they reach the temple premises? Or do sand and dirt particles vanish once they enter the pipelines inside a temple premise? This is so stupid but yet we do it.

The full scale commercialization of religion has affected not only India, but most parts of the world. The idea is to blackmail or even threaten the followers into spending money in the name of God. The general belief is that if you give a hundred rupees to God, he'll give you two hundred back. It seems stupid to me. Sounds like a fixed deposit with no receipt but mindless faith. Religious channels gain TRPs and make loads of money. The setup is quite simple. An enchanted looking figure in the simplest of clothing sits on the stage in-front of a microphone and delivers a speech about religion and humanity. His voice should be soft yet dominating over the Mic. People fall for such a guy or even girl and start following him. He shall open a medical store in his Ashram's name where medicinal cure for diseases lik AIDS, Cancer etc. can be found. I wonder why people die at all? Why not approach these stores and get a new life?

Recently, a very entertaining drama grabbed my attention. Though normally someone in a critical condition in a hospital is not entertaining, but what if that person claims to be God? Yes indeed, Sathya Sai was dying in an ICU. And people were praying for him. People were praying to God to save God's life. Laugh my f*cking a** out on it and that's what I'm going to do every time such crap plays on the TV. Pardon me for my bad language but those words were needed to communicate to you, my exact expressions on this topic. Bundles of cash and kilos of gold were found in this God's house. What a God..Oh God! And people believe he's going to come back from the dead. I mean..what the fuck is going on? Educated or not, people just love to act stupid.

The Mandir industry functions at a rate which will compromise many of the biggest industries in the world. And they do it without marketing, advertising and heavily paid MBAs. But it is in the name of religion that all this is considered to be ‘acceptable’ by the people. If someday all the wealth being donated throughout the length and breadth of the country is calculated, you and I better be ready for a shocking and mind blowing morning headline in the newspapers. Now in case someone comes to you asking for a business idea...you know what to tell him. ;)

The Night-watchman…Operating At Daytime.

Once referred to as the Deng Xiaoping of the Indian economy, Manmohan Singh today, is more commonly known as the ‘ night watchman’. If you walk the streets of India and ask about this man, the only probable answers you’ll get are the ones which’ll make complete sense to you as an Indian who reads and watches `India’ day and night in newspapers and on TV screens respectively. Developing or shaping up an individual’s opinion about any other individual/concept/idea/approach/proposition in India is not difficult at all. You just need to know the way, which the the opposition leaders in the case of Manmohan Singh do happen to know.

But if you don’t belong to India (or at least your source of knowledge doesn't) , then Manmohan Singh is no one else but one of the greatest economists in the world, an inspirational professor and reader in Economics and a man who pulled India out of an obvious economics crisis in 1991. Yes indeed , the man you hold ‘responsible’ for price rise , is actually the person who saved India from a certain bankruptcy in 1991. You feel he is against the fight for corruption? Well,this man resigned from the post of Finance Minister after a parliamentary investigation report criticized his ministry’s failure to predict the $1.8 billion securities scandal. He stayed after getting assurance from the then Prime Minister, P.V. Narsimha Rao, that he will be taking direct action against the culprits.

Unfortunately ,we belong to a world where we make huge mistakes when it comes to the BIG question-- Which issue deserves more attention? For example, in the Tata Nano case in West Bengal , we are focusing on the victory of farmers which is actually the victory of Mamta’s party. It is a huge defeat for the state as it has lost the opportunity of owning the first factory of the world’s cheapest car. The Tata Nano project would have put W.Bengal’s name on the world map (in bold letters). But no, it was more important for Mamta to oust the 34 year old communist stronghold. The same thing , I fear, will happen in Orrisa with POSCO facing unreasonable protests from the farmers who are backed by the opposition party funded `environmentalists’ and so called `social groups’. We again focus on the wrongly promoted ‘poor condition’ of the farmers when most of us don’t know that these farmers will be getting a 3BHK flat ,a reasonable amount of cash and a job each. But we don’t focus on the fact that India is loosing out on a mega-sized FDI which might just turn around things when it comes to FDI in India. It is sad that our focus and importance rests with (and on) the wrong side.

Now back to our so called ‘night watchman’. Yes he is a night watchman. The way he saved the game for India in 1991 (and on several other occasions in the years which followed) , he surely is a nightwatchman. Manmohan Singh ji is not acting like this because he intends to or wants to. See, the Indian Political System is not Facebook where you can say or do things the way you wish to. And if it is,then it is the Chinese version where even a status update of ‘Hi’ is inquired into and considered as a possible national threat. On the contrary, here things are ‘controlled’ and your situation is compromised 24x7. Yes we all know that Manmohan Singh is actually controlled (in a way) by the party head Sonia Gandhi like all others are (except for Digvijay Singh ji who seems to be the only one enjoying the Right to Freedom Of Speech in the party). But still we keep asking questions. I see news channels holding debates as to the degree of control exercised by Sonia Gandhi over governmental affairs on one side, and questioning the ‘silence of Manmohan Singh’ on the other side. This is so stupid. If you know someone is controlling something , then why do you go after that `thing’ asking questions? You fools, you already know that it is being controlled !!

I see no reason for dragging one of the most honest men of the Indian political system every time issues related to factions within the congress, incapability of the government, scams, scandals and pranabgates crop up. He is a man of intelligence and knowledge which seven generations of Advani, Mayawati and Mulayam (and alikes) can only dream of possessing. We disrespect his contribution towards building a self-reliant and well-supplied India by pointing fingers at him. He opened the windows of globalization in India and arranged a meeting of the Indian economy with that of the world.

Actually, the problem is that this guy does not belong to the world of politics. Any guesses why APJ Abdul Kalam rejected a second term at the President’s office? He realised this was not the place for him. There is too much dishonesty, complications,filth,dirt and Sonia Gandhi in politics (particularly congress) for intellectuals like APJ and Manmohan Ji to survive or continue respectably. So next time you find someone commenting a thing or two about our current Prime Minister, just tell them that –Yes, he is a nightwatchmen …the best you can get. It’s just that he is trying to operate at daytime ! :)

Not his fault, he is being forced to.

Manmohan Singh- The Right Man, At The Wrong Place.

UPA and The Silence Of The Lambs

What I really want to know is that how a government serving a second term in the parliament, with the help of its consolidating elements give birth to such a large spectrum of uncontrolled and devastating issues and still manage to stay silent and undisturbed? The immediate response should be some highly developed and researched answers based on facts and figures from history followed by a series of counter attack arguments trying to depict how naive the opposition was to 'freeze' the parliament over corruption when they themselves have been a master of the same art in the past. But what has taken into Sonia Gandhi and our Prime Minister Manmohan Singh?

Well of course Manmohan Ji is surely to remain silent as his speech without consent or directions from the party president is some sort of a mistake which is equal to the defiance of law. If Congress is a state, the Gandhis are the rulers and have some 'educated city folks' (like Chidambram, Manmohan Singh etc.) as followers who together hammer nails of congress ideology in the 'waiting to be written with something' wooden minds of the party members. The state is a failed state and the only success it receives is because of the 'mistakes' of others. Just as it is being argued, that the success of the Indian cricket team in the present day is not because of the team blue's efficiency but because of the inefficiency of its rivals, similarly, the UPA is surviving or existing because of the poor, impatient and amateur politics being played by its rivals.

But why is the 'Queen Of Italy' so shy to speak about the achievements of her party members? Why scams like the 2G Scam, the Adarsh Scam, Bofors Scam, CWG Scam etc. being served with acute media attention being, in a way we can say, 'ignored' by Sonia Gandhi? If she's taking all this time to prepare an answer stronger than ever then that answer better be something no one has ever thought or heard of. The UPA government is struggling to find a way to escape the flying arrows coming out from the strong and sound bows the oppositions carry in the form of these scams and other corrupt operations carried on by the UPA, now brought out in the open. Manmohan Singh is declared free from my side, this man never spoke... look back , he never did. History is a witness to the silence of Manmohan Singh. He was made Prime Minister just to be an apparatus to voice Sonia Gandhi's opinions and an instrument to bring her ideas, plans and policies into operation. So, we dont think of him as a convict.

Meanwhile, where is Congress' poster boy 'Rahul Baba'? Where's that cute little face who slept in 'jhopdis' and ate meals with farmers and even tried his hand at digging the soil along with the 'Harijans'. Where is he? Rahul Gandhi is very busy...n I mean very busy. After finally accepting his failure in politics (in the Bihar elections) apna Rahul baba must be thinking of opening up a new business or something. I hope he does better there... you need lesser drama, dialogues and family legacy and name to excel in that field. Rahul commented on almost everything before these scams came to light. He spoke about bringing the common man to the front, he spoke about the importance of farmers, he spoke about eradicating poverty and bring an end to corruption... while reading his speeches, n forgive me for my honest comments, I'm often forced to think that he might just be reading all this out of a book written by Gandhi or Nehru. :| I mean , c'mon man , bring something else out.... guess no one told Rahul Baba that WE ALREADY KNOW ALL THIS , SO SHUT IT !!

So overall, the party and its members are still at a loss of words. And you cannot blame them, I mean, if you are caught then you can defend yourself. But what can one do when he is caught defending himself altogether? :| The UPA government is no more an alliance, it is a small hole where several snakes are struggling to fit in. They are slithering and fighting and sulking in each other's smell. It's like overloading a container and trying to shut it with force. It sure will stay shut as long as the elements show no activity , but when something will move and cause an unpredicted reaction, it will let out all that you cant even imagine. And I think a similar container named the UPA is just about to let go.

The silence of the party head and other important members shows how true the allegations being made against the party are. I cannot see a future for congress right now. Will the party with its handful of remaining allies be able to pull itself out of this mess before the next elections? Will Rahul Gandhi, with some better make up and drama scripts be able to save the party from its almost octogenarian heads? Will Sheila Dixit be able to shut her mouth and finally accept that she's out of fashion now? Will the congress be able to gain the trust and loyalty of its allies? N finally, will someone be able to explain the difference between Maulana Abul Kalam Azad and APJ Abdul Kalam to Suresh Kalmadi? :P

Where’s The Game?

You know how one thing leads to the other, n another thing leads to some other, and then some other thing brings up something which is capable of cultivating another thing holding the same capacity…oh man! This is so confusing. I guess you probably didn’t understand what I’m trying to say. Well, that exactly is the case with IPL. People have completely forgotten about what actually IPL is for or was for...Yes CRICKET!! I mean, where’s the game?

You ask someone about IPL n all they know is that it was an event started for cricket but now involved in politics, scandals, match fixing, betting foot in the mouth stories and industrialists n bankers n what not. How did this happen? The game of cricket, in IPL, is played for about a month…But stories related to IPL stay in news throughout the year. :| How many times have you heard about NatWest or Ashes or Triangular Series or even the world cup being able to stay in news for a year? One full entire year? Never.

See this is it; most people don’t get it, why? why? They keep asking questions while the answer is quite simple u know? This is India. We like to hype up things. Normally, they get hyped up on their own but if they don’t, we take care of it. We add corruption, scandals, backbiting, rumors etc n spice up the issue in concern so that you don’t forget it quick. In fact at times, you ‘never’ forget it. I remember watching the first IPL n telling him how this thing would elevate the role of talent in determining the national team to an extent. But it all goes down the drain, useless. We have players playing for money and fame n late night parties n actresses n late night paparazzi. N where are the players who play for the nation? Ask the players’ n they’ll say, “What do you mean? We’re in the Indian team and we play for it, the nation”. Well, etymologically the term ‘Indian Team Players” does mean that players are from India n for India but dude, where’s your heart in it?

I remember the old times; the time when test matches were cricket, the only mode of cricket was a five day encounter which tested both your physical as well as mental strength. Players were actually put to a test. Look at what we have in IPL, 20 over’s each n then you have some booze and get laid (most probably). Whoa! What kind of a test is that? See IPL according to me is some good restaurant food, exotic in preparation n good to taste every once in a while. But for an orthodox cricket fan, it is all bullshitt. I mean, a game of gentlemen has been converted into a game of carefree and undisciplined teenagers.

Between all the showbiz stuff and players getting a lot to drink and fans getting to see micro mini skirt imported white skin dancers from a distance of 100 meters. I really miss the game. Today’s headlines (regarding Pawar’s ownership issues in IPL) really pissed me off n made me write about IPL. IPl’s gone, been months n still all you read is IP, this then IP that …totally irrelevant. We just lost hands down to a team struggling to maintain its tests n ODI status (i.e. Zimbabwe) and nobody has to talk about it. All we get to know is how much money was involved n who was involved n what was involved n what should’ve been n what is. I mean cmon guys, cut the crap….for god’s sake…FIND THE GAME !!